67: The Amazing Purse Magnet Finder
I spend a significant amount of time searching endlessly through the black hole that is my purse. After searching for like a whole minute, who hasn’t had that give-it-all-up moment, thrown their bags on the floor in desperation, and literally sorted out everything to find one small obnoxious but necessary item. Frustration ends here with the Amazing Purse Magnet Finder, now with voice activation. A tiny RFID (whatever that means) magnetized micro chip* is placed inside your hand as well as your bag. The next time you need something, literally tell your purse what you want, and the item will float directly into the palms of your hands.
*This product is certified 100% safe. Side effects may include: dry mouth, urinary retention, blurred vision, constipation, headache, nausea, weight gain, loss of libido, panic attacks, abdominal pain, sudden diarrhea, and/or completely irrational behavior.